I remember one of my first experiences on a rollercoaster was with my dad when I was young. We went to Disneyland and i wanted to be brave so I tried Thunder Mountain. It was a fast train that circled up and down a canyon. I got on happily...not knowing what I was getting myself into. The joy was sucked out of me so quickly. I hate drops....your stomach has never felt emptier and more unsettled. I wanted to cry...but my eyes could barely open to even see where I was going. I just wanted it to stop. But I couldn't get off the scary train. You know what I mean. Like when you're in on the spinning platform and the biggest guy around spins you nonstop, at top speed. You're screaming for Him to stop, but he's just laffing while your grip is going numb and you're bout to fly off. Or when you're tickled and it hurts but the person's hands just keeps digging into u. It's horrific. My dad was next to me and I was leaning on him for my dear life. He kept yelling that I would be all right. His presence didn't exactly calm my stomach or spirits, but at least I knew he was there protecting me to the end. I could only trust him.
This is all so familiar. I'm so scared. I want so bad to get off the train sometimes...I just want it to stop. I'm holding on for dear life.
God is next to me. He isn't taking away my stomach drops or the pain... but He's screaming at me: It's gonna be all right.
Hopefully...sooner or later I'll be able to enjoy the ride.
