we love shopping. i love shopping... and we love shopping for love.
I mean...really think bout it. we choose the type of affection and affirmation we want to receive right? If someone doesn't offer what we're craving, we move on to the next. If we like it, we give a little bit of ourselves, or a little bit of the love that we do think we have. If we think it's worth the world, then we'll give the world if we're willing. But we expect something in return, flowers, time, sex, or fulfillment of loneliness. Cheap love demands cheap love..costly love demands costly love. If the transaction doesn't go as well as hoped, you just refrain from giving as much the next time. Save your love for someone or something better.
Haha. this is put in the most simplistic of terms. Sorry for the dryness, but i'm just starting to realize...what a consumer i am..even of things not physically tangible. O how I thought I was being altruistic. What selfishness truly reigns in me. I don't give unless I feel secure that someone will give something back. i don't invest in a friend thinking they're gonna trash me...etc. and yet of course it happens.
and then there's Love. The beauty of this love is intangible. What do you mean it's free? What do you mean I can't buy it? Some of us ignore it. Because it's... afterall...FREE. Or some of take it...like we take McDonald's sweet and sour packets. We pack as much of it as we can (you azns all noe what i mean) but at the end of it day, we treat it as what it is... Mcdonald's free stuff. it's not worth much. I mean there's a reason why you don't have to pay for certain things yea? You know what i mean.
But that's not Love. Wow...actually...Love is costly. SO costly, we don't even know the price of it. It's so much...it can't even be calculated. it's priceless. Priceless does not = free crap. It's an untouchable Love. It's the thing we can't have...we don't deserve. And yet, we got it, as a gift. O no...someone did pay for it, with blood. But it wasn't us, it was Jesus. He didn't pay for it, so that HE would get the Love...He paid for it so WE could get this Love. He IS Love. We can't work to get this one.
I can't believe God gave us this Divine goodness. It's all by grace..and it's not like...some cheap Mickey D's sauce, which isn't even in unlimited stock. This stuff is the real deal...so much that I can't even describe what the taste is, bc it's soo other. He lavishes it on us. I shiver...I tremble. I commune with this Love. Taking this offer is so wrong and yet so incredibly right.
I get to share it. For my sake though, i usually decide to go back to the cheap stuff that I was offering before, still expecting something in return. But He instead, has given me an overflow of the real stuff. He is the source itself. It's scary, because I'm giving to people, without getting what i WANT in return. It's humbling, because I can't claim myself to be the ultimate Giver of this love. But why should I give into my petty unfulfilled desires when I'm connected to the source of fulfillment and of the greatest thing I can ever behold? I know the authentic option is not what people are looking for...but will I be able to sacrifice immediate affirmation for what is real?
